Woman up, tell him the truth, and rip off the band aid.“I was only 19 when I found out I was pregnant. Staying with him is not going to make things better. You married a man who wants affection, you won’t give it to him, and he’s upset. Attraction is a very personal thing.īut since you asked me for advice, I’ll give it to you straight. It’s not my place to tell you to make things work with this nice guy who loves you. That’s a convenient excuse that you’re trotting out to avoid looking bad in front of your husband and family. Stop claiming that you’re not courageous enough to leave him. This is your fault, Maya, and only you can make it right. That’s not his fault (although he was pretty foolish to propose to someone after 8 months) and it’s not your parents’ fault for loving him. Your ridiculously massive mistake was MARRYING this man, even though you knew how you felt. Some discover that the spark isn’t enough to continue. Some find their attraction grows when they start to love the person. My official diagnosis, Maya, is that you’re not a bad person for dating a man with whom your attraction is questionable. So you married him after 8 months to make your family happy. “2 months into our dating, I realized I am just not attracted to him.” Still, unless you were actively turned OFF by his face, I’m not sure how you got this far along in your relationship. Which would be a shame, because there’s a lot more to most people than a face. Unless, of course, you decide that you can’t. You can prefer small noses and fall for a man with a big nose. You can prefer dark hair and marry light hair.
You can prefer tall men and be open to shorter men. I get that not everyone on earth is equally good looking, but I very much want to caution you to being too attached to a “type”. “A certain type of face seems attractive”? It’s more that your excuse seems to ring a little hollow. I’m not even sure how this is possible, but I acknowledge that sometimes one can get into a relationship where passion is lacking. I will, however, wonder what exactly is making you tick. I’m not going to make light of the fact that you and your husband are unhappy, which is tragic. You say so many things in your question that are easy to dissect that I don’t even know where to begin.įirst of all, I’m really sorry you’re in this predicament. Can I change my mindset? Please tell me what you suggest. I am just not courageous enough to leave him and I could not say to him that I don’t love him. He is frustrated over the lack of intimacy. I know I should have had a voice before, but what to do now? We have fights every other day over this issue and just nothing comes out of it. 3 months into our marriage and now he complains that I am not physically or emotionally close to him. I married him (knowing I wasn’t attracted to him) because I thought that over a period of time, I would start liking him. I did not marry him because of family pressure. As for me, he has a great body and is a genuinely nice person but because of my lack of physical attraction, I am just not in love with him. 8 months after still dating him, I married him because of what my and his family members would think if I said no. 2 months into our dating I realized I am just not attracted to him. When I first started dating him, I just didn’t notice it and I liked him for being a nice guy. For me somehow, a certain type of face seems attractive and a certain type does not. I don’t like some of his facial features. I married a man to whom I am not physically attracted. Hi Evan, I am stuck in a very tricky situation, which came in my life because of my wrong choices.
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